In a number of carefully controlled trials,scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would
have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.coli) bacteria found
in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop. However,
we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey or other liquor)
because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling,
filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water
and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable
information. I'm doing it as a public service.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
Flour On The Face
Little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.
"Mom, look, I'm a white boy."
His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father."
He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy."
His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Mira, abuelita, I'm a white boy."
His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says, "See. Did you learn anything from that?"
The boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white for five minutes and already I don't like you Mexicans."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.
"Mom, look, I'm a white boy."
His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father."
He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy."
His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."
The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Mira, abuelita, I'm a white boy."
His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says, "See. Did you learn anything from that?"
The boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white for five minutes and already I don't like you Mexicans."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Rodeo Injury
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first
exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They
went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached
that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and
said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached
that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. "
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's
more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that
said, incapital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's
ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn some-
thing from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it
was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and he is expected to make a full recovery.
exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They
went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached
that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."
The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and
said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached
that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. "
The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's
more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that
said, incapital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."
The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's
ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn some-
thing from this one."
The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it
was with the same cow."
NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and he is expected to make a full recovery.
Canning Update
Coming out on the porch, sitting for a spell and taking a deep breath. Oh the joys of summer canning and the hard work that goes with it, especially when your doing it alone. Not to mention doing it for others as well.
Between the green beans, squash, banana peppers, spaghetti sauce, tomatoes, dill pickles, pickled okra, 14 day pickles, bread & butter pickles, zucchini, I am hitting the 250 quart in canning this summer.
I still yet have to make home made soup, from the tomatoes, another batch of spaghetti sauce,turnip greens that will be planted August 15, so they will make during cooler weather and not be eaten up by all the insects.
It has been a plentiful year even if it has been dry at times. There certainly is something to be said about planting in the sign. You all do know what that means, right? :-)
Have a great day,
passion
Between the green beans, squash, banana peppers, spaghetti sauce, tomatoes, dill pickles, pickled okra, 14 day pickles, bread & butter pickles, zucchini, I am hitting the 250 quart in canning this summer.
I still yet have to make home made soup, from the tomatoes, another batch of spaghetti sauce,turnip greens that will be planted August 15, so they will make during cooler weather and not be eaten up by all the insects.
It has been a plentiful year even if it has been dry at times. There certainly is something to be said about planting in the sign. You all do know what that means, right? :-)
Have a great day,
passion
Friday, August 3, 2007
Never Yielding
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,"Who would like this $20 bill?"
Hands started going up.He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"Still the hands were up in the air.Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty."Now, who still wants it?"Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives,we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make andthe circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special- Don't EVER forget it."
Never yield to remorse, but at once tell yourself: remorse would simply mean adding to the first act of stupidity a second.~~ Nietzsche
Hands started going up.He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.
He then asked, "Who still wants it?"Still the hands were up in the air.Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty."Now, who still wants it?"Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives,we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make andthe circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special- Don't EVER forget it."
Never yield to remorse, but at once tell yourself: remorse would simply mean adding to the first act of stupidity a second.~~ Nietzsche
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The Sacrifices People Make
Cruise Ship Diary
DEAR DAIRY. DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Today I saved 1600 lives. Twice.
DEAR DAIRY. DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.
DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Today I saved 1600 lives. Twice.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Heard It Through The Grapevine
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as...
PINO MORE
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Love, Freely Given
The past week has been very hectic and busy as my goal of accomplishments completed. Many hours have been put in this week, preparing for a ninetieth year old birthday party for my patient that I do private duty nursing for.
Invitations sent out with RSVP response cards, brought back one hundred people attending. This was going to be quite the task, yet not unmanageable. The menu was chosen, BBQ, which was cooked by a local neighbor on a grill, which made it even more special, not to mention very good. With this, I prepared for 100 guest, baked beans, two different slaw's, BBQ and regular, potato salad, corn on the cob, whole wheat and regular rolls, tea, pop, coffee. The cake was a three tier, solid white with fresh flowers of blue Delphinia, white roses, and greenery. My theme colors were blue, and white, complete set tables, but done so with paper. I give credit to If It's Paper Inc. for supplying some of the prettiest paper products I have ever seen. This complete setup was casual, yet completely elegant.
The tables were covered with white linen table clothes, thus me adding blue place mats, white plates, blue napkins that had a sweet white flower design on them, blue forks and a blue dessert fork, placed above the plate. In the center of each table were flower vases filled with blue Delphinia, and baby breath, with two balloons tied to this, one blue, one white with different colors of streamers opposite the color of balloons.
For the entertainment, I had two speakers, one who was raised in the same church as my patient, and another one who had worked with her for many years. There were two singers, one singing gospel songs, the other singing modern day songs. Also one comedian, and the introduction of another, Ms Pansy Harper Sassafras, who was completely a southern belle, hat and all.
It was the perfect event, with the perfect ending. My patient was overwhelmingly surprised, honored, and appreciative. To her, I give my honor and all of my love. I certainly was blessed through love and action. Isn't that one of the reasons we are placed here on the earth for? To love, serve and give to another, especially one who can't give to themselves?
Have a great evening all...
passion
Invitations sent out with RSVP response cards, brought back one hundred people attending. This was going to be quite the task, yet not unmanageable. The menu was chosen, BBQ, which was cooked by a local neighbor on a grill, which made it even more special, not to mention very good. With this, I prepared for 100 guest, baked beans, two different slaw's, BBQ and regular, potato salad, corn on the cob, whole wheat and regular rolls, tea, pop, coffee. The cake was a three tier, solid white with fresh flowers of blue Delphinia, white roses, and greenery. My theme colors were blue, and white, complete set tables, but done so with paper. I give credit to If It's Paper Inc. for supplying some of the prettiest paper products I have ever seen. This complete setup was casual, yet completely elegant.
The tables were covered with white linen table clothes, thus me adding blue place mats, white plates, blue napkins that had a sweet white flower design on them, blue forks and a blue dessert fork, placed above the plate. In the center of each table were flower vases filled with blue Delphinia, and baby breath, with two balloons tied to this, one blue, one white with different colors of streamers opposite the color of balloons.
For the entertainment, I had two speakers, one who was raised in the same church as my patient, and another one who had worked with her for many years. There were two singers, one singing gospel songs, the other singing modern day songs. Also one comedian, and the introduction of another, Ms Pansy Harper Sassafras, who was completely a southern belle, hat and all.
It was the perfect event, with the perfect ending. My patient was overwhelmingly surprised, honored, and appreciative. To her, I give my honor and all of my love. I certainly was blessed through love and action. Isn't that one of the reasons we are placed here on the earth for? To love, serve and give to another, especially one who can't give to themselves?
Have a great evening all...
passion
Monday, July 23, 2007
Two's Company Three's A Crowd
It's time for a porch call dear. Drinks ready, and fresh veggies... Come on up and sit for a spell.
With being the intelligent human beings we all are, right? We all know "what goes in, must come out?" ... ok... Pfffft, usually!
I don't have a very large bathroom. However, adequate. Hmmmmm, just how adequate is it? I think the hidden thought here and question is, Do I really want to share this with others, especially when I'm in there. And yes, for any reason.
Sam, he thinks so. He thinks he has earned the right to be in the bathroom at any given day, hour, minute, or just because. When I'm bathing, washing my face, teeth, especially when I go potty. His potty is in the bathroom also. I go potty, Sam goes potty. I go to bathe, Sam goes and watches me bathe and licks... I brush my teeth, Sam is sitting on my potty watching.
I mean the minute he hears me walk in the direction of the bathroom, Sam beats me to the draw... but he waits to see what my choice will be. We have a routine or he certainly does. AND NOTHING, and I mean nothing ever bothers Sam in there.
I talk to God all over my home, and usually always in the bathroom. I now, while in there, look down at Sam and say, "Sam, say good morning to God." Sam, well Sam, he is my human cat, who sleeps, eats, poops, bathes, all with me.
So,is there a silver lining to this? I don't know, except for the facts that I never need a book, and Sam never leaves the toilet lid up.
Enjoy your evening all. I see my daughter coming. What is it that I see in her hands? It's snuggled in a ball, furry, tiny, Oh Lord...she didn't? Delilah!
passion
With being the intelligent human beings we all are, right? We all know "what goes in, must come out?" ... ok... Pfffft, usually!
I don't have a very large bathroom. However, adequate. Hmmmmm, just how adequate is it? I think the hidden thought here and question is, Do I really want to share this with others, especially when I'm in there. And yes, for any reason.
Sam, he thinks so. He thinks he has earned the right to be in the bathroom at any given day, hour, minute, or just because. When I'm bathing, washing my face, teeth, especially when I go potty. His potty is in the bathroom also. I go potty, Sam goes potty. I go to bathe, Sam goes and watches me bathe and licks... I brush my teeth, Sam is sitting on my potty watching.
I mean the minute he hears me walk in the direction of the bathroom, Sam beats me to the draw... but he waits to see what my choice will be. We have a routine or he certainly does. AND NOTHING, and I mean nothing ever bothers Sam in there.
I talk to God all over my home, and usually always in the bathroom. I now, while in there, look down at Sam and say, "Sam, say good morning to God." Sam, well Sam, he is my human cat, who sleeps, eats, poops, bathes, all with me.
So,is there a silver lining to this? I don't know, except for the facts that I never need a book, and Sam never leaves the toilet lid up.
Enjoy your evening all. I see my daughter coming. What is it that I see in her hands? It's snuggled in a ball, furry, tiny, Oh Lord...she didn't? Delilah!
passion
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Faithfully Waiting
It is one thing to decry the rat race...that is the good and honorable work of moralists. It is quite another thing to quit the rat race, to drop out, to refuse to run any further--that is the work of the individualist. It is offensive because it is impolite; it makes the rebuke personal; the individualist calls not his or her behavior into question, but mine."Paul Gruchow
Overwhelmed we become, with many earthly obstacles that are thrown into our pathway. We never ask for them, as many sneaks in like a slithering snake, which always travels in pairs. Never visible to the eyes are both at the same time, but one remains always hidden in the background to take up the refuse where one may have left off.
Do we run away from these obstacles when we become so burdened down by them that our cross to bear becomes so heavy that it is like a rat trying to escape whilst running around a maze or in a wheel? The circle never goes away, but it can become broken.
Do we as individuals take this personal when someone dear to us... just stops instantly, drops out of our life, disappears, because they become tired of the life drama by people, places and things? Do they run away because they have demons that must be conquered before they can move forward with peace and restfulness?
Do we find blame within ourselves because of their departure, while all along knowing, we did our very best to enhance the relationship, secure the friendship. Do we think that perhaps our very best given was actually not the very best one needed, but needed more?
Unfortunately, yes we do. It is human nature to do so when we care.
Not always is everyone we meet the perfect specimen that we should allow to enter into our personal realm. After a trillion refusals, we allow yet, another, into our lives. When this is earned, approved, sealed by the heart, it is never done with a hidden agenda, but done so with complete honesty, an open book relationship so there can never be any misguided perceptions. Anything less would have been unacceptable.
So, what do we do should this occur?
The only reasonable, mind acceptable, soul searching, heart assuring answer is:
Faithfully, we wait for them to return.
My honor always,
passion ~
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Gods Letter To Woman
When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being.
When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils.
But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man, because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life.
I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. Around this one bone, I shaped you....... I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The ribcage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body.
You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel.....You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart.
Your eyes...don't change them. Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands so gentle to touch. I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep. I've held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are most like me. Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you; my Holiness, my Strength, my Purity, my Love, my Protection andSupport. You are special because you are an extension of me.
Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God. So man......treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart; the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.
Woman, honor man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness, show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self. That you belong not only as his greatest gift and power, but you belong to him.
As always, my honor
passion ~
Yadda Yadda Of The Sisterhood
The night has fallen and the summons heard. One, outside on her deck. One, inside on her couch. Another, at her kitchen sink. The bell has been rung, the candle lit. The ashtrays cleaned and readied. The coffee made and waiting. Soda instead in the hand of one who doesn't really like coffee, as the joining of three souls, return to one. Distance never to make a difference. Tears to never make one run. Searching, with the courage to tell ones story, with no judgement given, nor taken.
Call it what one may, the sisterhood returned like so many other times. From one being in Texas, two from North Carolina, there isn't power on earth that could force the stopping of a meeting when called. It is the magic of just knowing one is hurting, needing, requiring the attention that only the bond can give, complete honesty.
It is the special intimate powers within the mind, that more times than not, triggers the instinct that something may be wrong, or right, or needed, perhaps just being... It is a deep level of trust that has already been tried and trusted... and gained leverage to the highest shapeable form within the heart. Thank you and I love you Tinkerbell and Little Miss Brat... it is the number three, as angels come in three's. For it is here, my heart will heal.
Children laughing in the background, ages twelve, eleven and six. One being Dracula, one watching television, one boxing on the computer, the match between Bush/Kerry. Please don't be silly! Of course Bush won! Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the joys of the Yadda... never go away.
As always,
passion ~
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Addiction, In The Rarest Form
Hurriedly always, to get home from the chaos of yet another day, Dinner cooked, chores done, evening expected schedule accomplished, boy child tucked in. Finally, a breath taken. Candles lit, oil bath begun, hair washed, teeth brushed, readily awaiting for the moment...
Inhaling, the wait is over. !! Good conversation, stories told. Writing, sharing, a leading hand. Laughing, listening, smiling, routine.
Thirty minutes given, "Now off with you, dream sweet"
A routine.
A fragment of ones imagination?
I don't think so.
As always,
passion ~
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Magic Of The Waterfalls
There is a magic power within the vision of a waterfall as it flows from one area to another, crossing millions of miles to get to the destination it longs for. It is similar to the human wants and needs with them longing to reach their goals, dreams, desires, their own truth.
The journey of the flow sometimes takes years to get to where it belongs. More times than not, the flow will cross over to another stream, pathway. All in God's plan to open up many streams for the different many journeys that will be taken. The flow of the journey will never cease to end.
Magic, special powers, journeys, never to cease? A step out in faith? Perhaps so.
As always,
passion ~
Monday, July 16, 2007
And God Said "Good morning passion"
And God said" Good morning passion. Where have you been?
All tied up Lord, in other things.
And God said, "Welcome back passion, for I have missed you!"
And I... you, Lord.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
My Angel, Crying
How ironic that I have been feeling a tugging of the heart for the past few weeks, that I have posted even ahead of today about these feelings. I have been deeply hurt today unbeknown by someone I have respected, adored, perhaps desired and held close to my heart for months now. Even my angel cried. :-(
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The Set Of The Sail
In the process of living, the winds of circumstances blow on us all in an unending flow that touches each of our lives.…
What guides us to different destinations in life is determined by the way we have chosen to set our sail. The way that each of us thinks makes the major difference in where each of us arrive. The major difference is the set of the sail.
The same circumstances happen to us all. We have disappointments and challenges. We all have reversals and those moments when, in spite of our best plans and efforts, things just seem to fall apart.…In the final analysis, it is not what happens that determines the quality of our lives, it is what we choose to do when we have struggled to set the sail and then discover, after all of our efforts, that the wind has changed directions.
When the winds change, we must change. We must struggle to our feet once more and reset the sail in the manner that will steer us toward the destination of our own deliberate choosing. The set of the sail, how we think and how we respond, has a far greater capacity to destroy our lives than any challenges we face. How quickly and responsibly we react to adversity is far more important than the adversity itself. Once we discipline ourselves to understand this, we will finally and willingly conclude that the great challenge of life is to control the process of our thinking.
Learning to reset the sail with the changing winds rather than permitting ourselves to be blown in a direction we did not purposely choose requires the development of a whole new discipline. It involves going to work on establishing a powerful, personal philosophy that will help to influence in a positive way all that we do and that we think and decide. If we can succeed in this worthy endeavor, the result will be a change in the course of our income, lifestyle and relationships, and in how we feel about the things of value as well as the times of challenge. If we can alter the way we perceive, judge and decide upon the main issues of life, then we can dramatically change our lives.
By: Jim Rohn
Friday, July 13, 2007
All Good Things Must End?
Good morning to all,
Early morning here in North Carolina, yet here I am, still up. It is official, I'm tired. Having been sick all week, yet faithful, I'm at work. The good news is tonight will be my last night to spend the night except on Fridays. Back to the regular hours and nights in my own bed. There is something to be said about "No place like home."
However, with that being said, I feel like this is my second home. My relationship with my patient and her daughter rests comfortably relating to that of me having another grandmother and mother. I have been so blessed to have had both placed in my pathway. The journey has been nothing short of honorable.
Honorable, a word with meaning that is so huge. Honorable, a word that unless one is really special, possesses not this trait. I wonder why? I wonder why so many human beings haven't a clue what it means to be honorable? Perhaps it is that they were never taught, or that their prorities are really all in the wrong places. Maybe it is that they themselves never experienced it, so therefore will never experience the reality or emotion of it.
My nature understands nothing else. My soul is the sister of honorable. My mind is captured and caged, failing to understand anything less given by myself to another or given back to me in return. Allowing people into my realm is all together a different story. It isn't an all of a sudden event. The decision is based on many standards. I call it the five golden rule. Respect, trust, lotalty, honor and love. All in that order.
Finally, at home now with a lapse of five hours in this writing with little rest. But it is over now, with me faced with many decisions in regard to my life, job, family and my personal relationships. I don't do well with changes as I have stated many times. I like and require routine. But then again,
All good things must end.
As always,
passion
Early morning here in North Carolina, yet here I am, still up. It is official, I'm tired. Having been sick all week, yet faithful, I'm at work. The good news is tonight will be my last night to spend the night except on Fridays. Back to the regular hours and nights in my own bed. There is something to be said about "No place like home."
However, with that being said, I feel like this is my second home. My relationship with my patient and her daughter rests comfortably relating to that of me having another grandmother and mother. I have been so blessed to have had both placed in my pathway. The journey has been nothing short of honorable.
Honorable, a word with meaning that is so huge. Honorable, a word that unless one is really special, possesses not this trait. I wonder why? I wonder why so many human beings haven't a clue what it means to be honorable? Perhaps it is that they were never taught, or that their prorities are really all in the wrong places. Maybe it is that they themselves never experienced it, so therefore will never experience the reality or emotion of it.
My nature understands nothing else. My soul is the sister of honorable. My mind is captured and caged, failing to understand anything less given by myself to another or given back to me in return. Allowing people into my realm is all together a different story. It isn't an all of a sudden event. The decision is based on many standards. I call it the five golden rule. Respect, trust, lotalty, honor and love. All in that order.
Finally, at home now with a lapse of five hours in this writing with little rest. But it is over now, with me faced with many decisions in regard to my life, job, family and my personal relationships. I don't do well with changes as I have stated many times. I like and require routine. But then again,
All good things must end.
As always,
passion
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Pondering Of A Six Year Old
One rainy afternoon a Dad was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.
Suddenly his daughter, Aspen , spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat.
"Dad, I'm thinking of something."
This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered. He was eager to hear.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"The rain!" she began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."
After the chill bumps raced up my arms he was able to respond.
"That's really good, Aspen."
Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation? So he asked...
"Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?"
Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer:
"We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."
He will always remember this whenever he turns his wipers on.
Isn't it distressing to know that when you forward this message you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. In order to see the Rainbow, you must first endure some Rain.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Ol' Spot
A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month.
Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Dick and Jane Brown tohave the dinner at their house, like most women, Jane wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over. A few days before the big event, Jane got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay.
She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive." He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed." She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison." He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."
After thinking about this, Jane decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Jane watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Jane even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visitingand the women started to gossip a bit.
About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Jane's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died." With this news, Jane went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."
It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and heleft."
They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!!
A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to meet for dinner at a different neighbors' house each month.
Of course, the lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Dick and Jane Brown tohave the dinner at their house, like most women, Jane wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over. A few days before the big event, Jane got out her cookbook and decided to have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to pay.
She then told her husband, "We aren't going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive." He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed." She said, "No, I don't want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison." He then said, "I don't think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time and it never has affected them."
After thinking about this, Jane decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, sliced and diced them to get them ready to go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ol' Spot's (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol' Spot didn't slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long, Jane watched him and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Jane even hired a lady from town to come out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her head. It was first class. After everyone had finished, they all began to kick back and relax and socialize. The men were visitingand the women started to gossip a bit.
About this time, the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Jane's ear. She said, "Mrs. Brown, Spot just died." With this news, Jane went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened. The doctor said, "It's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them all there and keep them calm."
It wasn't long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump. The doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one, they took each person into the master bathroom, gave them an enema and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now, and heleft."
They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and about this time, the town lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
All I Have Heard Must Be True ?
In the mist of all of my canning, All-Star games and caring for two families, I ended up spending Saturday at the hospital ER with Frances. She took a fall late the night before and when I arrived Saturday to give her daughter her medications through IVs I decided she needed to go and be checked over.
She had fallen while trying to sit down at the dinning room table, lost her balance and an employee couldn't keep her from falling, actually pulling Pat down with her. She landed on her left hip that had an hip replacement three summers ago from a fall. :-( The same hip was solid blue, swollen and her bottom calf was all blue and swelled and looked like a baseball. This set off a red flag instantly when I saw it, because when one is on Coumadin, a blood thinner, no mistakes or chances can ever be taken.
So we are in the ER, at a small hospital where they still use hanging curtains to separate 2 large rooms. We got her settled in and she was to have x-rays and an MRI, on her head where she also hit it above her eye. This was going to take a bit of time, so when the staff left with her, I went out side for a few moments. As I was leaving the ER, I noticed from the side of my eye that a crowd of people were coming into the waiting area to sign in, with one, a teenager, looking like he had something wrong with his face. Not looking directly at any of the party, I exited the building.
As I returned to my cubby hole in the ER, right beside me was that young man and what seemed like his father. The conversation I heard speaks for itself.
I instantly let out an uh-huh... covering my mouth, as if not to let them know I was listening to their conversation. It continued and when this young teenager said the next sentence I began to understand.
He leaves the ER for a bit, and I'm sitting there shaking my head, and trying to not say out loud again uh-huh as they start up the conversation again.
A few moments passed and nothing was said then all of a sudden out of his fathers mouth came this:
There on the ER table laid his son, blistered up from a gas explosion that came back on him, being taught how to continue to burn but the proper way. As I said, this conversation speaks for itself.
Frances returned, nothing broken, just bruised really bad and sore. Given a prescription for pain medication, we came home, gratefully. It just goes to show you how blessed many are.
passion ~
She had fallen while trying to sit down at the dinning room table, lost her balance and an employee couldn't keep her from falling, actually pulling Pat down with her. She landed on her left hip that had an hip replacement three summers ago from a fall. :-( The same hip was solid blue, swollen and her bottom calf was all blue and swelled and looked like a baseball. This set off a red flag instantly when I saw it, because when one is on Coumadin, a blood thinner, no mistakes or chances can ever be taken.
So we are in the ER, at a small hospital where they still use hanging curtains to separate 2 large rooms. We got her settled in and she was to have x-rays and an MRI, on her head where she also hit it above her eye. This was going to take a bit of time, so when the staff left with her, I went out side for a few moments. As I was leaving the ER, I noticed from the side of my eye that a crowd of people were coming into the waiting area to sign in, with one, a teenager, looking like he had something wrong with his face. Not looking directly at any of the party, I exited the building.
As I returned to my cubby hole in the ER, right beside me was that young man and what seemed like his father. The conversation I heard speaks for itself.
Did you not realize what you were doing?
No, I wasn't paying attention or something.
How many cans of fuel were there, just two?
Yes, and I wasn't paying attention. I just grabbed one.
Well couldn't you tell a difference in them? The fuel, In the smell of them?
No, I wasn't paying attention. I was just trying to get the brush to burn.
There is a difference in the smell with gas and fuel oil, Son.
I instantly let out an uh-huh... covering my mouth, as if not to let them know I was listening to their conversation. It continued and when this young teenager said the next sentence I began to understand.
As I said I wasn't paying attention and there is something different about this gas and fuel oil here. It doesn't smell like it does in West Virginia.
Well, I reckon everyone is trying to burn round here now that it has rained a bit.
He leaves the ER for a bit, and I'm sitting there shaking my head, and trying to not say out loud again uh-huh as they start up the conversation again.
Well, you look better already. That white cream has already took the red off of your face, but you do have some second degree burns.
A few moments passed and nothing was said then all of a sudden out of his fathers mouth came this:
I tell you how you can really get something to burn good. Take some pine cones, soak them in black motor oil and this will set fire to anything.
There on the ER table laid his son, blistered up from a gas explosion that came back on him, being taught how to continue to burn but the proper way. As I said, this conversation speaks for itself.
Frances returned, nothing broken, just bruised really bad and sore. Given a prescription for pain medication, we came home, gratefully. It just goes to show you how blessed many are.
passion ~
Gardening And Canning Update
Gracious! Have I been busy. I was thinking that time would slow down here for me a bit , but what do I know, right? Time never stops, so we keep on keeping on. My patients daughter came home last Friday from the hospital! Yeah!!!!! She is doing rather well, but having to have IV antibiotics daily and knee packing daily, so I do this for her.
The garden hasn't stopped either. I'm canning for her as well as me, so my count as of tonight, is: Green beans 30 quarts. Squash 26 quarts, 10 pints, frozen for breads and other things, 40 pints. Dill pickles so far, 20 quarts and 12 pints.
My grandmother called me one day this week, not sure what day it was and said " "Passsssionnnn, I have two five gallon buckets of squash and zucchini that Mike picked for you if you want it?" Mike is my uncle, who grows a garden each year and it is absolutely beautiful and always plentiful. I hardly knew what to say to this offer, as I'm up to my head in produce here, but the grateful side of me said "Of course Grandmother."
The okra is growing and will be ready in a week or so. There are 120 tomato plants loaded, and I'm certainly glad none are riping right now. I do plan to can juice and tomato's, then make home made soup for the winter and spaghetti sauce. This comes in handy when your tired and in a hurry to fix something for dinner. All one has to do is add the meat, and shabam, there is your meal.
In the middle of all of my canning affairs, I restarted my weight loss program. It has been really hard to maintain this in the proper fashion as sometimes I grab on the run, and this isn't always the best thing for me. I need to learn to remember that I'm as important as canning is, or anything else is. As I said I need to be taught this as I have never just placed myself first. It isn't in my nature. :-)
One more caner filled, and I can go to bed. :-)
passion ~
The garden hasn't stopped either. I'm canning for her as well as me, so my count as of tonight, is: Green beans 30 quarts. Squash 26 quarts, 10 pints, frozen for breads and other things, 40 pints. Dill pickles so far, 20 quarts and 12 pints.
My grandmother called me one day this week, not sure what day it was and said " "Passsssionnnn, I have two five gallon buckets of squash and zucchini that Mike picked for you if you want it?" Mike is my uncle, who grows a garden each year and it is absolutely beautiful and always plentiful. I hardly knew what to say to this offer, as I'm up to my head in produce here, but the grateful side of me said "Of course Grandmother."
The okra is growing and will be ready in a week or so. There are 120 tomato plants loaded, and I'm certainly glad none are riping right now. I do plan to can juice and tomato's, then make home made soup for the winter and spaghetti sauce. This comes in handy when your tired and in a hurry to fix something for dinner. All one has to do is add the meat, and shabam, there is your meal.
In the middle of all of my canning affairs, I restarted my weight loss program. It has been really hard to maintain this in the proper fashion as sometimes I grab on the run, and this isn't always the best thing for me. I need to learn to remember that I'm as important as canning is, or anything else is. As I said I need to be taught this as I have never just placed myself first. It isn't in my nature. :-)
One more caner filled, and I can go to bed. :-)
passion ~
Thursday, June 28, 2007
What's Up With Google And The Blogging?
It seems that the last few days I have tried to write and nothing seems to be working here. I have gone into the blogs and found pictures gone, complete blogs gone, not to mention I haven't been able to edit through Html.
OK, so does Google want me to be perfect in all my sentences and spelling when they are not made accessible to me or the computer, program, blog site? Everyday I come in here and something is wrong with this! Now if I were a mind to, I'd blame this completely on my computer, however since I am doing the majority of this right now at work, when I can get on, I know it isn't this computer. OK, am I bitching this early morning? Yes Sir, I certainly am! Where the heck is my coffee? :-)
Update on the garden: Yesterday, I went and picked a whole 5 gallon bucket of cucumbers, and another 5 gallon bucket of squash and zucchini. I didn't can any yesterday because there has been so many things going on here at work, with my little Frances sick also, so she needed all my attention once she got up. Today will be dill pickle day.
This morning I went and gathered a few squash, leaving more than I gathered for another days worth of growth. There will be abundance in the morning. I went through the 3 rows of corn, lol yes, I remembered... and thinned them out. By this I mean I pulled up the extra stalks that aren't needed, about a foot high, leaving 1/2 inch between them. This gives them more room to grow, therefore not taking away from the main stalk of corn, thus bearing more corn. Yeahhhhhhh, right?
The first picking of green beans will need to be done in the morning also. I'm really wondering how I'm going to manage all of this by myself, but I will.
There is this neighbor boy/man ,did you catch that, who would help if I could stand him? He is 41, has 3 small children, married, finally on disability after 3 years of sitting and doing nothing. He is tattooed all over and paid for these tattoos after he got a settlement from a car bump up.
Talk about one having their priorities in order, he didn't think of buying groceries and storing them for the children. He stutters and has the mentality of a rock. And no, I have nothing against anyone who stutters, only one who stutters AND has tattoos.
He came over one morning early, walked into this house where I work, without a shirt on. I turned around and slap me right in the eye with a 2 by 4 and saw him, with my immediatete first reaction being:
I can assure you he has never shown back up here without his shirt on.
Now get a picture of this.
He wants green beans and squash and cucumbers, anything he can get his hands on from this garden. However, there is a catch to this. He offered to pick them, but thinks we will can them for him! I see a clear indication where Zyprexa may very well be in order.
No thank him, I will pick the beans myself.
Have a great day and as always,
passion ~
OK, so does Google want me to be perfect in all my sentences and spelling when they are not made accessible to me or the computer, program, blog site? Everyday I come in here and something is wrong with this! Now if I were a mind to, I'd blame this completely on my computer, however since I am doing the majority of this right now at work, when I can get on, I know it isn't this computer. OK, am I bitching this early morning? Yes Sir, I certainly am! Where the heck is my coffee? :-)
Update on the garden: Yesterday, I went and picked a whole 5 gallon bucket of cucumbers, and another 5 gallon bucket of squash and zucchini. I didn't can any yesterday because there has been so many things going on here at work, with my little Frances sick also, so she needed all my attention once she got up. Today will be dill pickle day.
This morning I went and gathered a few squash, leaving more than I gathered for another days worth of growth. There will be abundance in the morning. I went through the 3 rows of corn, lol yes, I remembered... and thinned them out. By this I mean I pulled up the extra stalks that aren't needed, about a foot high, leaving 1/2 inch between them. This gives them more room to grow, therefore not taking away from the main stalk of corn, thus bearing more corn. Yeahhhhhhh, right?
The first picking of green beans will need to be done in the morning also. I'm really wondering how I'm going to manage all of this by myself, but I will.
There is this neighbor boy/man ,did you catch that, who would help if I could stand him? He is 41, has 3 small children, married, finally on disability after 3 years of sitting and doing nothing. He is tattooed all over and paid for these tattoos after he got a settlement from a car bump up.
Talk about one having their priorities in order, he didn't think of buying groceries and storing them for the children. He stutters and has the mentality of a rock. And no, I have nothing against anyone who stutters, only one who stutters AND has tattoos.
He came over one morning early, walked into this house where I work, without a shirt on. I turned around and slap me right in the eye with a 2 by 4 and saw him, with my immediatete first reaction being:
"Excuse me, Where is your shirt at?"
He said, "Iiiitttttt ttttttoooooooo hhhhhoooottttt fuuuuurrrrr ahhhhhhh sssshhhheeeerrrrttttt. "
I said, "Not in this house it isn't! "
I can assure you he has never shown back up here without his shirt on.
Now get a picture of this.
He wants green beans and squash and cucumbers, anything he can get his hands on from this garden. However, there is a catch to this. He offered to pick them, but thinks we will can them for him! I see a clear indication where Zyprexa may very well be in order.
No thank him, I will pick the beans myself.
Have a great day and as always,
passion ~
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Figure Of Speech :-)
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose.
A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to
wash your upper body and feet."He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the
covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in
the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very
closely......
Are - my - test - results - back?"
over his mouth and nose.
A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to
wash your upper body and feet."He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the
covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in
the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very
closely......
Are - my - test - results - back?"
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
A Step Ahead Of Vegetation
Good early morning to all,
My progress in the garden is really quite impressive. I only gathered a pale of a bucket this morning. Yes, That's southern talk. A pale is a little over a fourth of a five gallon bucket, so it would be safe to actually call what I gathered one third of a five gallon bucket. Whatever, right? It is just a lot easier to say, Yes Sir, I gathered a pale of squash! Yesterday I canned 7 pints and 7 quarts of squash and zucchini.
Now, if your wondering what I could possibly be going to do with this, just ask me. We do have to have meals on the front porch when someone makes it down the pathway to Julep, right?
I'm not sure how I missed the other row of corn in the early mornings of the beginning of the week, but I made a mistake while writing my quantities of rows of corn. I wasn't there when it was planted is the only reasonable excuse I have or that I have been so busy and in a hurry to get things done, I hadn't taken the time to really walk through the complete garden, but certainly have now! Sheesh, right. We have three rows instead of two.
Will someone please give me permission to be tired yet?
My dear friend who I work for, went through her surgery well yesterday. She is holding her own but will have to come home with IVs in which is no biggy. It just means that I will be hare longer on midnight and through the day. I'm not complaining because no one else would do things the way I would want them done, plus I'm looking at having to probably purchase another vehicle, not to mention perhaps a computer.
I went last evening before returning back here to work and checked on Lady In Waiting. That's what I call my computer... A Marine who worked for the government within the computer systems, Yes, step outside the box please, is the one working on LIW. So far the loaded files that were missing have been loaded back, however I had to take the recovery disk and see if this would actually run through the PC, as so far this isn't a recovery problem it seems to be fatal. :-( I will find out this morning when I leave work. Yeah, I'm getting off this morning, coming back tonight instead.
My son, Will, will be playing in the twelve year old All- Stars tomorrow at noon. His usual position is catcher or pitcher. However, he also has been playing first base and third. It will be interesting to see how this goes. We will play in Statesville, then Charlotte, and if we go to the state playoffs, it is said to be in West Virginia, imagine this!
As always, it is my honor,
passion
My progress in the garden is really quite impressive. I only gathered a pale of a bucket this morning. Yes, That's southern talk. A pale is a little over a fourth of a five gallon bucket, so it would be safe to actually call what I gathered one third of a five gallon bucket. Whatever, right? It is just a lot easier to say, Yes Sir, I gathered a pale of squash! Yesterday I canned 7 pints and 7 quarts of squash and zucchini.
Now, if your wondering what I could possibly be going to do with this, just ask me. We do have to have meals on the front porch when someone makes it down the pathway to Julep, right?
I'm not sure how I missed the other row of corn in the early mornings of the beginning of the week, but I made a mistake while writing my quantities of rows of corn. I wasn't there when it was planted
Will someone please give me permission to be tired yet?
My dear friend who I work for, went through her surgery well yesterday. She is holding her own but will have to come home with IVs in which is no biggy. It just means that I will be hare longer on midnight and through the day. I'm not complaining because no one else would do things the way I would want them done, plus I'm looking at having to probably purchase another vehicle, not to mention perhaps a computer.
I went last evening before returning back here to work and checked on Lady In Waiting. That's what I call my computer...
My son, Will, will be playing in the twelve year old All- Stars tomorrow at noon. His usual position is catcher or pitcher. However, he also has been playing first base and third. It will be interesting to see how this goes. We will play in Statesville, then Charlotte, and if we go to the state playoffs, it is said to be in West Virginia, imagine this!
As always, it is my honor,
passion
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Catholic Humor
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now."The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued,
"And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock'n'roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony.""Thank you, Father," answered the young priest."I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."
"All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest, "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional.""But, Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!"
"Yes," replied the elderly priest, "And I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof."
"And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock'n'roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony.""Thank you, Father," answered the young priest."I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."
"All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest, "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional.""But, Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!"
"Yes," replied the elderly priest, "And I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' cannot stay on the church roof."
They Walk Among Us
I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.
...............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl, and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches, and I walked out the door.
...............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"
...............They Walk Among Us!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
...............They Walk Among Us!
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
...............They Walk Among Us!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
...............They Walk Among Us!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
...............They Walk Among Us!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
...............They Walk Among Us!
While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into four pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
...............Yep, They Walk Among Us!
They Walk Among Us, AND they reproduce, and WORST OF ALL...................................they VOTE!
...............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl, and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches, and I walked out the door.
...............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and asked, "Where?"
...............They Walk Among Us!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."
...............They Walk Among Us!
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
...............They Walk Among Us!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
...............They Walk Among Us!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
...............They Walk Among Us!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"
...............They Walk Among Us!
While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into four pieces or six. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into four pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat six pieces."
...............Yep, They Walk Among Us!
They Walk Among Us, AND they reproduce, and WORST OF ALL...................................they VOTE!
My 6am Mornings
Up and atom to the garden I go. It is a lovely, crisp morning here in North Carolina. The temp is 66 and dew is every where. Again, with two buckets, I head to the squash patch. I gathered both full buckets. However, more of the yellow squash than the zucchini. Yeah!!! The cucumbers are blooming and tiny babies are starting to grow. The green beans are running, and soon will start to bloom. Two new rows are corn, silver queen have been planted, and these are doing nicely, only about four inches up, but coming.
The flowers have been watered and everything is ready for another morning here still remaining at work. I'm wondering how my friend and his farming is going? :-( I'm sure his corn is really high now. I think I'm going through withdrawals from not being able to communicate. My patients daughter is still in the hospital and will have a procedure this early evening to try to clean out some of the infection in her knee, that comes from Strep B, a side kick off of being a diabetic. She is certainly in my prayers as she is like my "Other" mother to me.
In all that has gone wrong here with me in two weeks and how emotional I had became, I know I'm blessed to have such a wonderful family to work with. We are all one. I tend to believe that, that is the way all relationships should be. A complete whole in all areas, or they just don't seem worth the effort. Does that wholeness come instantly, heavens no. But understand... in order for these and life to move forward, there must be some level of desire.
Have a great day and will update my process in how much I did get canned today! :-)
As always, it is my honor,
passion ~
The flowers have been watered and everything is ready for another morning here still remaining at work. I'm wondering how my friend and his farming is going? :-( I'm sure his corn is really high now. I think I'm going through withdrawals from not being able to communicate. My patients daughter is still in the hospital and will have a procedure this early evening to try to clean out some of the infection in her knee, that comes from Strep B, a side kick off of being a diabetic. She is certainly in my prayers as she is like my "Other" mother to me.
In all that has gone wrong here with me in two weeks and how emotional I had became, I know I'm blessed to have such a wonderful family to work with. We are all one. I tend to believe that, that is the way all relationships should be. A complete whole in all areas, or they just don't seem worth the effort. Does that wholeness come instantly, heavens no. But understand... in order for these and life to move forward, there must be some level of desire.
Have a great day and will update my process in how much I did get canned today! :-)
As always, it is my honor,
passion ~
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
God Was Too Busy Today
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.
One ofthe courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of theACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked tothe ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you?
Why did you do that?"The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an butthole. So, He sent me."
One ofthe courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of theACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked tothe ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you?
Why did you do that?"The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an butthole. So, He sent me."
Life Isn't Always Fun
Good morning to all,
I have been out of commission the last 10 days and not sure when I will return on a full time basis. What a crazy 10 days this has been. Firstly, my cell phone breaks, that holds all of my friends telephone numbers, then my computer has been sent to the hospital. On top of all of this, my patients daughter has been in the hospital and remains there, thus me working 17 hours a day, everyday. To add the icing to the cake, my daughter moved back in with me for a while, needing some space. However, I imagine all is well with everyone, my friends and such that I haven't spoken to in many days. I guess everyone is busy, or maybe they really haven't missed me at all. If the past weeks are any indication... I can see why. I don't do drama well at all either. :-(
Did I tell you all that my car broke down one and a half weeks ago and I finally got it out of the shop, but not before I paid 700.00. The right tire elbow broke completely into and had I not just stopped and pulled out from a side road, I would have been going 55 mph, so God is good. Sometimes when it rains it pours. I'm not sure what the lessons are from all of these hardships that I have occurred the last couple of weeks? Perhaps, that it is I, who I must always depend on and that I must always be ready to get over myself. I do know with all my heart, that the one person it seems that would have missed me horribly would be my precious little 89 year old patient who I love and adore with all my heart.
Old habits die hard, and newer ones hurt just as much. I have missed a few selective people recently who had become a habit to me here. The habit was a complete enjoyment and pleasure, perhaps even fulfilling. OK, so my feelings have been hurt, and I feel like maybe I have felt in my heart and soul far more than perhaps I should. But I'm a dissector of every thing. A full blooded Scorpio... I will get over it... :-)
On a lighter note, this week I canned my first batch of veggies from my garden here at work. I gathered squash at 6 am one morning and had 4 pints and 1 quart. Smiling, why this combo? Because Frances my patient loves stewed squash and this will be sufficient enough in quantity for her and the quart is for casseroles. That was yellow squash of course. Also gathered was zucchini, where I shredded 10 pints, and sliced 6 quarts for breads and stir fries for the winter. This was frozen. I was so excited to see my work sitting on the counter all in jars, sealed and ready to be stored. This clearly is work that becomes beneficial in the later months.
Walking in the evenings, I have spotted fire flies. Oh, you know it is truly summer time when they arrive. I will write on that a bit later. As for now, I'm headed to rest. It has taken me a while to figure out or remember how to go into my account here on another persons computer, but thankfully now I can write and get my mind off of other things, or is that get my mind back on things?
God Bless all! I love ya ~ :-)
Be back as soon as I can.
passion ~
I have been out of commission the last 10 days and not sure when I will return on a full time basis. What a crazy 10 days this has been. Firstly, my cell phone breaks, that holds all of my friends telephone numbers, then my computer has been sent to the hospital. On top of all of this, my patients daughter has been in the hospital and remains there, thus me working 17 hours a day, everyday. To add the icing to the cake, my daughter moved back in with me for a while, needing some space. However, I imagine all is well with everyone, my friends and such that I haven't spoken to in many days. I guess everyone is busy, or maybe they really haven't missed me at all. If the past weeks are any indication... I can see why. I don't do drama well at all either. :-(
Did I tell you all that my car broke down one and a half weeks ago and I finally got it out of the shop, but not before I paid 700.00. The right tire elbow broke completely into and had I not just stopped and pulled out from a side road, I would have been going 55 mph, so God is good. Sometimes when it rains it pours. I'm not sure what the lessons are from all of these hardships that I have occurred the last couple of weeks? Perhaps, that it is I, who I must always depend on and that I must always be ready to get over myself. I do know with all my heart, that the one person it seems that would have missed me horribly would be my precious little 89 year old patient who I love and adore with all my heart.
Old habits die hard, and newer ones hurt just as much. I have missed a few selective people recently who had become a habit to me here. The habit was a complete enjoyment and pleasure, perhaps even fulfilling. OK, so my feelings have been hurt, and I feel like maybe I have felt in my heart and soul far more than perhaps I should. But I'm a dissector of every thing. A full blooded Scorpio... I will get over it... :-)
On a lighter note, this week I canned my first batch of veggies from my garden here at work. I gathered squash at 6 am one morning and had 4 pints and 1 quart. Smiling, why this combo? Because Frances my patient loves stewed squash and this will be sufficient enough in quantity for her and the quart is for casseroles. That was yellow squash of course. Also gathered was zucchini, where I shredded 10 pints, and sliced 6 quarts for breads and stir fries for the winter. This was frozen. I was so excited to see my work sitting on the counter all in jars, sealed and ready to be stored. This clearly is work that becomes beneficial in the later months.
Walking in the evenings, I have spotted fire flies. Oh, you know it is truly summer time when they arrive. I will write on that a bit later. As for now, I'm headed to rest. It has taken me a while to figure out or remember how to go into my account here on another persons computer, but thankfully now I can write and get my mind off of other things, or is that get my mind back on things?
God Bless all! I love ya ~ :-)
Be back as soon as I can.
passion ~
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Woodpecker Might Have To Go!
Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark
One : Don't miss the boat.
Two : Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three : Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four : Stay fit When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five : Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six : Build your future on high ground.
Seven : For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight : Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine : When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten : Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven : No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting...
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Under The Sea
As bad as Aerial in the movie The Little Mermaid wanted to be out from under the water, I have decided I want to go to places I have never been taken to in all aspects of my life. This picture is of The Cretaquarium.
In Crete, tourists visit Mediterranean sea life at the Cretaquarium on the Greek isle.
Absolutely beautiful. :-)
passion ~
When To Call 911
This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells,
"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Republican on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed.
"I said there is a damn Republican on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Well, now, how do you know he's a Republican?"
"Because, you damn fool, if it was a Democrat, he'd be
screwing somebody!"
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
A Beautiful Rainbow
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
passion ~
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Things I Have Learned
Things I have learned ..I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.
I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heart ache for life.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've Learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues grow even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone d oesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that you should never tell a child that their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would if they believed it.
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.
I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
author unknown
Positive Proof Now
OK all, I finally found the proof that we are actually experiencing global warming. So now we can assume by the chart that in 2007 we have just gone without panties. Saves money in two ways, purchasing and laundering them. Al Gore is sure to be pleased knowing he was right and we women are all without panties now. :-)
Friday, June 1, 2007
A Visual Of It's Own
Hello to all!
Cute huh? Sometimes, we as human beings must remember that every single thing, every emotion, every cause, every option isn't always about you or I. Thank goodness at the most precise time, something comes along, like " Miss WhatcanIsay" up above that just makes you smile.
As always,
passion
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
The Very Best For Papa
THE TOMATO GARDEN
An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He
wanted to dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincenzo, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Vincenzo,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't
be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I am
getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you
were here, my troubles would be over. I know you would
dig the garden for me.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
I'd do anything for you Papa, except dig up that
garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie
At 4 am the next morning, FBI and local police arrived
and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left. The same day
the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Vinni
It just goes to show you, genuine love is smart, endless and unconditional.
Report Cards, Kids And Sanity
My twelve year old son is in the 6th grade and school soon will be letting out for summer vacation. This year hasn't been a very good year for him. Perhaps, some of it is due to him discovering hormones, which makes him think he's 21 in a 12 year old body acting 6. Being well known within my community, the trips have been endless to the school to check on grades. When we arrive, we are to sign in and receive a badge and return it before we leave. I kept mine. The school accepted this, I think they gave me a hormone exemption.
My worries have been tremendous in regard to my sons grades, because so much depends on them next year. No longer is he eligible to just play sports. The seventh grade and up is a totally different light, because one must earn their right to play, as with so many other aspects in life, it is an earned effort. Earning the right to play sports means that one must make above average grades. At this point, I'm not sure where he is standing with this. Last week he was doing fine. This week, he is hunting up homework passes.
Today I received the email below from a dear friend of mine, and when I read it, I thought Goodness.... this would be something my son would be cleaver enough to try. Then I looked at it in a whole different light, wondering if my expectations are to far fetched? Something inside me says " Well at times" But then again, there is a larger side to me that believes and is enforced that we as parents must push our children to become all that they can become, never settling for less and never subsidize laziness and lack of responsibility. Here's the email"
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Sometimes it takes something so simple as a email meant to be a joke to teach a lesson to the adults. I had one such lesson today.
My worries have been tremendous in regard to my sons grades, because so much depends on them next year. No longer is he eligible to just play sports. The seventh grade and up is a totally different light, because one must earn their right to play, as with so many other aspects in life, it is an earned effort. Earning the right to play sports means that one must make above average grades. At this point, I'm not sure where he is standing with this. Last week he was doing fine. This week, he is hunting up homework passes.
Today I received the email below from a dear friend of mine, and when I read it, I thought Goodness.... this would be something my son would be cleaver enough to try. Then I looked at it in a whole different light, wondering if my expectations are to far fetched? Something inside me says " Well at times" But then again, there is a larger side to me that believes and is enforced that we as parents must push our children to become all that they can become, never settling for less and never subsidize laziness and lack of responsibility. Here's the email"
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. That's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Sometimes it takes something so simple as a email meant to be a joke to teach a lesson to the adults. I had one such lesson today.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Happy Mother's Day
One Of The Strongest Women I Know Is You
Strong women are those who know the road ahead will be strewn with obstacles, but they still choose to walk it because it's the right one for them.
Strong women are those who make mistakes, who admit to them, learn from those failures, and then use that knowledge.
Strong women are easily hurt, but they still extend their hearts and hands, knowing the risk and accepting the pain when it comes.
Strong women are sometimes beat down by life. but they still stand back up and step forward again.
Strong women are afraid. They face the fear and move ahead to the future, as uncertain as it can be.
Strong women are not those who succeed the first time. They're the ones who fail time and again, but still keep trying until they succeed.
Strong women face the daily trials of life, sometimes with a tear, but always with their heads held high as the new day dawns.
Happy Mother's day to all the strong women I know. I love you and hope your day is perfect. :-)
passion ~
Friday, May 11, 2007
Waxing
Ladies, it's grin and bare it all tonight. We will be focusing on hair removal... But first a note from a friend on how this is to be accomplished. Okie, here we go, listen up please ~
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my Who-ya and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek.
(Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself......R!RRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH M Y GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...........must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake.......remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. ****!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Who-ya? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water, which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glue together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the d***ens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Ummmmmmmmmm, did someone say they brought the Tequlia? grins... :-)
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my Who-ya and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek.
(Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself......R!RRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH M Y GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...........must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake.......remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. ****!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Who-ya? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water, which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glue together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the d***ens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......
Ummmmmmmmmm, did someone say they brought the Tequlia? grins... :-)
Nymphomaniac Southern Wit
Ok ladies, come on up on the porch. I have the Julep ready for you, already having mine. I had a friend send this to me, and I must share it with you. It's joke night ladies, drink up and share. :-)
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside him.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned and smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your
business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really," he said, "What myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "One popular myth is that American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that
French men are the best lovers, when it is actually men of Jewish descent. And we have discovered that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed, "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. don't even know your name.
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
Thanks to Memphisbelle2006 for the laugh
Sunday, May 6, 2007
The Power Of Herbs
A little behind I am, so gathering today here on the porch will indeed be a treat. It seems Spring brings about many changes, bringing in the new, fazing out the old. How refreshing.
It's Sunday today and on Sundays I always cook especially if the quilters are coming.The menu consist of pork loin roast with apricot sauce, sugar free of course, roasted garlic and onion new potatoes,black skillet pan fried string beans with mushrooms and corn, slaw,
I don't know how many of you, who by chance, made it to the path of here has ever been to Boone NC, where Appalachian University is located? Yesterday, I went on a adventure, riding up there with two girlfriends. What a beautiful ride and such a neat place to visit.
We went on a mission to visit crystal shops and healing of the soul shops that sell herbs, healing rocks, crystals and smudge sticks that cleanses ones home when done properly. They consist of different types of herbs rolled into a stick and tied together. I opted to buy white sage on a stem, not mixed with other herbs as I wanted purity, solitude and cleansing within my home this time.
So, when I came in from the trip, and all was settled down, I started my cleansing ritual. This not only cleansing your home of all negative energy, but it also cleansing one's soul. One must find their own spiritual energy within and bring this out before the process begins.
To get started, I took the sage and tied it off with twine so when lit,the sage would burn evenly and smoulder as I moved from corner to corner in every room within my the home, saying my choice of blessings to the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
This was a powerful event, as I could instantly feel my energy spirit take hold and begin to return to where it belongs. Everyone has a Energy Body. The energy system, spirit or energy person is ABSOLUTELY REAL.
How does one know if they need healing or their home needs cleansing? Simple. It is your own emotions (and the behaviours driven by those emotions as well as the disease or illness caused by those emotions) that tell you "the state of your spirit" - or how well your energy system is functioning.
Disturbed emotions (stress, sadness, anger, grief, rage, anxiety, fear, depression ) come directly from a disturbed energy system.
A disturbed energy system leads directly to disturbed thinking and actions and finally, to PHYSICAL DISEASE.
If you are happy, proactive, positive, motivated and joyful, your energy system is working well and you don't need energy healing.
Have a great day all! Smooches and hugs...
passion ~
Saturday, April 21, 2007
The Invitation
Good evening folks,
One of my favorite author's of the inspirational prose-poem and international best-selling books is Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Her writing explores how to follow the thread of our deepest heart's longing into a life of meaning and purpose.
Blending ruthless honesty, humour, insight and compassion for our human struggle, Oriah seeks to inspire and challenge herself and others to live life fully. In addition to sharing stories of both her personal life and her years of training in an inter-tribal tradition of shamanic medicine, Oriah draws upon her years as a facilitator of spiritual retreats, as a social worker assisting women and families in crisis and as a student of philosophy in seeking to understand how we can be all that we truly are.
In 1994 she wrote a prose-poem that has traveled all over the world. "The Invitation" Please, the coffee is hot and the cookies just out of the oven. Enjoy this deep rooted, soul searching truth from one to another.
One of my favorite author's of the inspirational prose-poem and international best-selling books is Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Her writing explores how to follow the thread of our deepest heart's longing into a life of meaning and purpose.
Blending ruthless honesty, humour, insight and compassion for our human struggle, Oriah seeks to inspire and challenge herself and others to live life fully. In addition to sharing stories of both her personal life and her years of training in an inter-tribal tradition of shamanic medicine, Oriah draws upon her years as a facilitator of spiritual retreats, as a social worker assisting women and families in crisis and as a student of philosophy in seeking to understand how we can be all that we truly are.
In 1994 she wrote a prose-poem that has traveled all over the world. "The Invitation" Please, the coffee is hot and the cookies just out of the oven. Enjoy this deep rooted, soul searching truth from one to another.
The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Just For The Asking
Good afternoon my friends,
We are having for lunch today a variety such as: Green pea salad, tomato sandwiches, fried chicken and banana pudding. Yes dear, all homemade. Please do make yourself at home as I have found a delightful topic. Of course your input will also be needed, so fill your plates and grab the lemonade.
My thoughts run high today as I think about all it is that I wish for my life or any ones life for that matter. Now, knowing that I'm not a bible thumper and would never throw it in any ones face, I do however believe in prayer and what then bible tells us all.
Prayer is one of the most reliable sources one can learn to do. It doesn't take a scientist to learn this. All it takes is a desire to be heard, to be understood, to expect a response back.
Ah, to expect a response back? Why wouldn't you? Why not ask from God all the blessings he has for you, what you desire, what you need, and expect for God to answer these request? Could it possibly be that we have been programed to believe that we are selfish people if we ask? That all we are to receive in this lifetime is only what fate brings us? Perhaps, we even believe that we are not worthy of such requests. I beg to differ.
Before you existed you were already known. Every avenue you would take in life was already known about, yet God still wanted you, needed you and created you. There are no mistakes in your existence.
With only ninety three pages, Bruce Wilkinson created a small book with a life- changing message. The Prayer of Jabez. One part of the story gives an example of a Mr. Jones dying and meeting Saint Peter at Heavens gate.
Mr Jones was so excited that he wanted to see all of heaven so Saint Peter gave him the tour. He was allowed to see all of heaven but one place. It was a storage building, as tall as the sky and as wide as one could see. Mr. Jones couldn't imagine God keeping any secrets away from him especially since this was heaven. Reluctantly, Saint Peter took him to the door of the building. He grabbed open the door and ran in but stopped suddenly. He looked around the walls and lined up were shelves with white boxes on them. Thousands and thousands of boxes lined the room with names on each one. Mr Jones asked if he too had a box there and Saint Peter said" Yes Sir, Mr. Jones, I'm afraid you do." Mr. Jones ran as hard as he could to search for his box, finding it and jerking off the lid. As he looked down into the box, he saw reflections of his life passing through the box. He turned around and ask Saint Peter what was all of this? He could remember those moments, yet he didn't understand. Saint Peter took Mr. Jones in his arms and he said to him, " Those Mr. Jones are all the blessings that God had for you on a daily basis that you Sir failed to ask for."
One doesn't receive because one doesn't ask.
As always,
passion
One And The Same
Good morning to all~
Please grab a chair and come on out on the porch where the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers in bloom.
It is a wonderful day to be able to reflect, share and move forward with life. Earlier this morning, I was reading from a site where I receive mail on a daily basis, kinda like support mail. The message was so clear, so vibrant that it needs to be shared among "us".
"You wake up in the morning, and your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life! It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions. No one can take it from you. And no one receives either more or less than you receive."--Dr. Thomas Arnold Bennett
Who among "us" doesn't need to be reminded of this occasionally? I for one, forget that when it is all said and done, it is I alone that must handle all of life's directions myself. Sometimes, like many, with assuming here, I feel like a yo-yo being pulled here and there. I imagine it is my nature that takes me to many various pleasures in life, along with the not so pleasant. Such is life.
Rarely will I open up and expound. However, I'm here this glorious morning to share and open my porch to all that might stumble upon the path and end up here. Welcome my dear. We are all one and the same.
As always,
passion
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The Other End Of A Christmas Story
First Date
This story was told on the Tonight Show when Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first d ate that a woman ever had.
The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be in the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first dat e was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment, "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."
http://www.reflectionsallmine.net/archive/2006/1/68219.html
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)