A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Flour On The Face

Little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.

"Mom, look, I'm a white boy."

His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father."

He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy."

His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."

The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Mira, abuelita, I'm a white boy."

His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.

His mother says, "See. Did you learn anything from that?"

The boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white for five minutes and already I don't like you Mexicans."




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Rodeo Injury

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first

exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They

went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached

that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."


The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and

said, "He mated 50 times last year."


They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached

that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. "


The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's

more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."


They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that

said, incapital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."


The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's

ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn some-

thing from this one."


The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it

was with the same cow."


NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and he is expected to make a full recovery.

Canning Update

Coming out on the porch, sitting for a spell and taking a deep breath. Oh the joys of summer canning and the hard work that goes with it, especially when your doing it alone. Not to mention doing it for others as well.

Between the green beans, squash, banana peppers, spaghetti sauce, tomatoes, dill pickles, pickled okra, 14 day pickles, bread & butter pickles, zucchini, I am hitting the 250 quart in canning this summer.

I still yet have to make home made soup, from the tomatoes, another batch of spaghetti sauce,turnip greens that will be planted August 15, so they will make during cooler weather and not be eaten up by all the insects.

It has been a plentiful year even if it has been dry at times. There certainly is something to be said about planting in the sign. You all do know what that means, right? :-)

Have a great day,

passion

Never Yielding

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,"Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"Still the hands were up in the air.Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty."Now, who still wants it?"Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives,we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make andthe circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

You are special- Don't EVER forget it."

Never yield to remorse, but at once tell yourself: remorse would simply mean adding to the first act of stupidity a second.~~ Nietzsche

The Sacrifices People Make

Cruise Ship Diary

DEAR DAIRY. DAY ONE
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.

DEAR DIARY . DAY TWO
Entire day at sea, beautiful and saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today - seems a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY . DAY THREE
At the pool today. Also some shuffle boarding and hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DEAR DIARY . DAY FOUR
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY . DAY FIVE
Pool again today, got sunburned, went inside to drink at piano bar for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

DEAR DIARY . DAY SIX
Today I saved 1600 lives. Twice.