The New Parrot

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately
spotted a large, beautiful parrot..

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said,
'Look, I should tell you first that this bird
used to live in a house of Prostitution and
sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'

The woman thought about this,
but decided she had to have the bird anyway.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage
in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and
said 'New house, new madam.'

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication,
but then thought 'that's really not so bad.'

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school
the bird saw them and said,
'New house, new madam, new girls.'

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but
then began to laugh about the situation considering how and
where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later,
the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,
.
.
.
.

'Hi, Keith!'

The Porch Is Now Opened Again!

After almost a year, my happy self has returned. I'm excited too! Just call me Scarlett! :-)

passion ~

Good News Folks

In a number of carefully controlled trials,scientists have demonstrated
that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would
have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.coli) bacteria found
in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop. However,
we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey or other liquor)
because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling,
filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water
and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable
information. I'm doing it as a public service.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Flour On The Face

Little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.

"Mom, look, I'm a white boy."

His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father."

He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy."

His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother."

The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Mira, abuelita, I'm a white boy."

His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.

His mother says, "See. Did you learn anything from that?"

The boy replies, "Sure did. I have only been white for five minutes and already I don't like you Mexicans."




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Rodeo Injury

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first

exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They

went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached

that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."


The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and

said, "He mated 50 times last year."


They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached

that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year. "


The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's

more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."


They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that

said, incapital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year."


The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's

ribs, said, "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn some-

thing from this one."


The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it

was with the same cow."


NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and he is expected to make a full recovery.

Canning Update

Coming out on the porch, sitting for a spell and taking a deep breath. Oh the joys of summer canning and the hard work that goes with it, especially when your doing it alone. Not to mention doing it for others as well.

Between the green beans, squash, banana peppers, spaghetti sauce, tomatoes, dill pickles, pickled okra, 14 day pickles, bread & butter pickles, zucchini, I am hitting the 250 quart in canning this summer.

I still yet have to make home made soup, from the tomatoes, another batch of spaghetti sauce,turnip greens that will be planted August 15, so they will make during cooler weather and not be eaten up by all the insects.

It has been a plentiful year even if it has been dry at times. There certainly is something to be said about planting in the sign. You all do know what that means, right? :-)

Have a great day,

passion